you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
