...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
vagina is talking i cant
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
