we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
