hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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