That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
