While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
