He disabled his match.com account in front of me
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
