I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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