ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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