i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
