So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
