Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
