Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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