I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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