There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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