She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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