butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
