hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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