Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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