I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
