is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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