Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
