i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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