You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
