I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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