stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
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