I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
