I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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