I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
