just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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