Its about making memories worth repressing
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
