On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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