Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
