Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You took a bar mat shot.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
