Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
