Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
