Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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