No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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