First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
