whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
