You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
