We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
