I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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