I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
