I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
