Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
