the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
