Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
