sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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