I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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