if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
